So I am reading this book called 'Boy Meets Boy' by David Levithan. It is so good, a little strange but good. The back is what really made me want to get it. It describes the book and then at the bottom it says three wonderful sentences.....
"LOVE MEETS LOVE.
CONFUSION MEETS CLARITY.
BOY MEETS BOY."
I am about half way through it and came upon this paragraph.."I find myself thinking back to somthing I saw on the local news about a year ago. A teen football player had dies in a car accident. The cameras showed all his friends after the funeral--these big hulking guys, all in tears, saying, "Iloved him. We all loved him so much." I started crying, too, and I wondered if these guys had told the football player they loved him while he was alive, or wherther it was only with death that this strange word, love, could be used. I vowed then and there that i would never hesitate to speak up to the people I loved. They deserved to know they gave meaning to my life. They deserved to know I thought the world of them."
I feel everyone should life their life by this idea. Don't ever let it be too late to tell someone you love them. Make sure they know. :D
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
update
guess i'll send everyone out there in cyber space an update on my life since i haven't talk to any of you for a while....
-my mom finally put in a change of address for me. so i guess it's 'for real' now, even though it's been for real for a long time. if that makes any sense.
-scott and i are doing really good. :D not a whole lot of drama going on, which is very nice. the only time there's drama is when i'm bein a stupid lil girl. ahaha so i'm shocked there isn't more drama. LOL he's been super busy with school lately but its ok, i'm getting used to it. :D
-work has been bareable. there hasn't been much drama there either, but i'm not there much either. and i don't really hangout with the ones that were causing the drama.
-i'm still looking for a new job. yesterday i applied at dillards. and the other day i applied for starbucks and a couple grounds for coffee around ogden. and on monday i'm going to apply at focus or teleperformance. maybe discover. so hopefully something comes through. fingers crossed. :D
-my ears are finally guaged up to 5/8" and i want them bigger... don't really know what scott thinks about that. actually i know what he thinks, he wouldn't like it. so i guess i'm done gauging. maybe i'll go get something else pierced. i've been thinking about my belly and my monroe. or my nose. :D
-last saturday we went to octoberfest with scott's parents, bob and wannetta, it was pretty fun. i don't really talk a whole lot when they're around but its because they are so loud and over powering. but its all good.
we're going to octoberfest again on sunday if anyone wants to join. this time we're going with my mamma and chris. so it should be a good time. :D i'm looking forward to it.
well, i have to get going to work. so i'll get at you all later.
<3
-my mom finally put in a change of address for me. so i guess it's 'for real' now, even though it's been for real for a long time. if that makes any sense.
-scott and i are doing really good. :D not a whole lot of drama going on, which is very nice. the only time there's drama is when i'm bein a stupid lil girl. ahaha so i'm shocked there isn't more drama. LOL he's been super busy with school lately but its ok, i'm getting used to it. :D
-work has been bareable. there hasn't been much drama there either, but i'm not there much either. and i don't really hangout with the ones that were causing the drama.
-i'm still looking for a new job. yesterday i applied at dillards. and the other day i applied for starbucks and a couple grounds for coffee around ogden. and on monday i'm going to apply at focus or teleperformance. maybe discover. so hopefully something comes through. fingers crossed. :D
-my ears are finally guaged up to 5/8" and i want them bigger... don't really know what scott thinks about that. actually i know what he thinks, he wouldn't like it. so i guess i'm done gauging. maybe i'll go get something else pierced. i've been thinking about my belly and my monroe. or my nose. :D
-last saturday we went to octoberfest with scott's parents, bob and wannetta, it was pretty fun. i don't really talk a whole lot when they're around but its because they are so loud and over powering. but its all good.
we're going to octoberfest again on sunday if anyone wants to join. this time we're going with my mamma and chris. so it should be a good time. :D i'm looking forward to it.
well, i have to get going to work. so i'll get at you all later.
<3
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
biracial and multiracial
I am watching Tyra right now and its about biracial and multi racial people.
There is this boy who is half African American and half Hispanic. He is so angry for being half Mexican. Its so frustrating that there are people like this. He is hurting his mom. He is sitting there on stage calling black people 'ghetto' and Mexican people as 'low class' which is so crazy to me.
Kimberly Locke is a special guest on the show today and said something I really liked. She said "everyone in this room has experienced some sort of racism, but you just need to get over it. Hold your head up high and move on." I completely agree with her. Just because something has happened to you, or you have learned some sort racial stereotype does not mean you have any right to act like this. Just because you had a bad experience with one isolated experience doesn't mean you should hate everyone of that race. If that was the case you wouldn't like anyone.
I wonder if these people realize how much they are hurting their parents. They are rejecting that one side of themselves. I feel so bad for their parents. They are rejecting that side that made them. wow. Crazy.
There is this boy who is half African American and half Hispanic. He is so angry for being half Mexican. Its so frustrating that there are people like this. He is hurting his mom. He is sitting there on stage calling black people 'ghetto' and Mexican people as 'low class' which is so crazy to me.
Kimberly Locke is a special guest on the show today and said something I really liked. She said "everyone in this room has experienced some sort of racism, but you just need to get over it. Hold your head up high and move on." I completely agree with her. Just because something has happened to you, or you have learned some sort racial stereotype does not mean you have any right to act like this. Just because you had a bad experience with one isolated experience doesn't mean you should hate everyone of that race. If that was the case you wouldn't like anyone.
I wonder if these people realize how much they are hurting their parents. They are rejecting that one side of themselves. I feel so bad for their parents. They are rejecting that side that made them. wow. Crazy.
life lessons
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30.. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield.4
4. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift..
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30.. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield.4
4. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift..
Monday, September 14, 2009
Kanye West
So much to think about...
Scott came home from school this morning and told me there was tons of drama about Kanye West coming on stage during Taylor Swifts acceptance speech and said that she didn't deserve it. So we went onto YouTube and looked it up. Yeah, WOW! Who does he think he is? I added the link to the video so you can check it out. But i was thinkin, Kanye is probably worse off, career wise, than Chris Brown. Damn. ahahahaha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfIw0GJEC4Y
After that Beyonce won an award and asked Taylor Swift to com eup on stage so she could finish her acceptance speech. Very cool of her. :D Kudos Beyonce.
Scott came home from school this morning and told me there was tons of drama about Kanye West coming on stage during Taylor Swifts acceptance speech and said that she didn't deserve it. So we went onto YouTube and looked it up. Yeah, WOW! Who does he think he is? I added the link to the video so you can check it out. But i was thinkin, Kanye is probably worse off, career wise, than Chris Brown. Damn. ahahahaha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfIw0GJEC4Y
After that Beyonce won an award and asked Taylor Swift to com eup on stage so she could finish her acceptance speech. Very cool of her. :D Kudos Beyonce.
Friday, September 11, 2009
dirty words
So there's something that has been brought up a few times lately that just irritates me.
Its calling people dirty names. And I don't mean names like b*tch or b*astard. I mean names that are politically incorrect and racist. Like n*gger, sp*c, j*p, w*tback, and even cr*cker. Who thinks these words are ok? Even if you are just kidding. These words are hurtful and uncalled for. I'm sure most of the people using these words don't even know what they mean. Which I think is bull sh*t. If you are going to insult someone, at least know what you're saying to them.
And what is extremely frustrating is when people of your own race say these names but get upset with someone outside their race says them. By you calling your friends those nasty words gives other people the right to call them and you those same words.
Another thing that frustrates me is older people who think its ok to use these words. I don't know if they feel its ok because they grew up using them, or because their parents used them, or because they just think they are better. It baffles me. I've never been taught using these words were ok. My mother would have slapped me across the face if she ever heard me calling someone any of these names. And mind you, I'm not saying its all old people. I have never heard any of my grandparents use any of those words. Wait, that's a lie. I heard my grandmother use one once, and has never said it again and would smack me if she ever heard me using it. But in her defense the man was a total jack *ss.
Ifyou disagree with me, at least know what you're saying. Hell, leave me a little comment and give me your opinion. Maybe I'm just over reacting because its kind of a personal.
N*gger:
The term nigger is now probably the most offensive word in English. Its degree of offensiveness has increased markedly in recent years, although it has been used in a derogatory manner since at least the Revolutionary War. Definitions 1a, 1b, and 2 represent meanings that are deeply disparaging and are used when the speaker deliberately wishes to cause great offense. Definition 1a, however, is sometimes used among African-Americans in a neutral or familiar way. Definition 3 is not normally considered disparaging—as in “The Irish are the niggers of Europe” from Roddy Doyle's The Commitments—but the other uses are considered contemptuous and hostile.
–noun
1. Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive.
a. a black person.
b. a member of any dark-skinned people.
2. Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive. a person of any race or origin regarded as contemptible, inferior, ignorant, etc.
3. a victim of prejudice similar to that suffered by blacks; a person who is economically, politically, or socially disenfranchised.
W*tback:
noun Disparaging and Offensive.
a Mexican laborer who enters the U.S. illegally, as by wading the Rio Grande.
Sp*c:
noun Slang: Disparaging and Offensive.
a Spanish-American person.
Its calling people dirty names. And I don't mean names like b*tch or b*astard. I mean names that are politically incorrect and racist. Like n*gger, sp*c, j*p, w*tback, and even cr*cker. Who thinks these words are ok? Even if you are just kidding. These words are hurtful and uncalled for. I'm sure most of the people using these words don't even know what they mean. Which I think is bull sh*t. If you are going to insult someone, at least know what you're saying to them.
And what is extremely frustrating is when people of your own race say these names but get upset with someone outside their race says them. By you calling your friends those nasty words gives other people the right to call them and you those same words.
Another thing that frustrates me is older people who think its ok to use these words. I don't know if they feel its ok because they grew up using them, or because their parents used them, or because they just think they are better. It baffles me. I've never been taught using these words were ok. My mother would have slapped me across the face if she ever heard me calling someone any of these names. And mind you, I'm not saying its all old people. I have never heard any of my grandparents use any of those words. Wait, that's a lie. I heard my grandmother use one once, and has never said it again and would smack me if she ever heard me using it. But in her defense the man was a total jack *ss.
Ifyou disagree with me, at least know what you're saying. Hell, leave me a little comment and give me your opinion. Maybe I'm just over reacting because its kind of a personal.
N*gger:
The term nigger is now probably the most offensive word in English. Its degree of offensiveness has increased markedly in recent years, although it has been used in a derogatory manner since at least the Revolutionary War. Definitions 1a, 1b, and 2 represent meanings that are deeply disparaging and are used when the speaker deliberately wishes to cause great offense. Definition 1a, however, is sometimes used among African-Americans in a neutral or familiar way. Definition 3 is not normally considered disparaging—as in “The Irish are the niggers of Europe” from Roddy Doyle's The Commitments—but the other uses are considered contemptuous and hostile.
–noun
1. Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive.
a. a black person.
b. a member of any dark-skinned people.
2. Slang: Extremely Disparaging and Offensive. a person of any race or origin regarded as contemptible, inferior, ignorant, etc.
3. a victim of prejudice similar to that suffered by blacks; a person who is economically, politically, or socially disenfranchised.
W*tback:
noun Disparaging and Offensive.
a Mexican laborer who enters the U.S. illegally, as by wading the Rio Grande.
Sp*c:
noun Slang: Disparaging and Offensive.
a Spanish-American person.
Cr*cker:
Slang: Disparaging and Offensive. a poor white person living in some rural parts of the southeastern U.S.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
bad dreams.
Last night was really awful.
1-my left year lobe is infected so i can't sleep on it. So Scott and I tried sleeping on opposite sides of the bed than we normally do so I could still look at him. Yeah, that didn't last long at all. So we switched back to normal. So sweet of him. :D LOL
2-I was having nightmares all night. About weird stuff too. Normally I have nightmares about things that have happened to me in the past but last night I was having nightmares about losing the ones I loved. Except, they weren't people I am very close with anymore. I had nightmares that Jayson, aka JP, died in my arms. What the hell was that all about? Yeah, I care about him, but not that much. At least not anymore. But the weirdest thing about that dream was that no one was around. Not the parents, not his brothers, none of our friends, it was just the two of us. Which, if anyone knows Jayson and I, was never a good idea. We usually ended up fighting, which is what we did while he was dying. When Scott woke me up I was so sad, I felt like I needed to call him right then and apologize for something. I wasn't, and still aren't, quite sure for what though. The other dream I had was me dying and the only person that was there with me was Tito, and god was I upset that it was him. For some reason I didn't want anything to do with him. I spent my last minutes arguing with him and trying to get him to leave me alone to die in peace. i never would have imagined me saying anything of the sort to T. Sure we've had our times, but I don't hate him. I don't remember a whole lot from that dream but I do remember waking up being so thankful that Scott was the one I was waking up next to. It was such a relieve. I wonder if he knows that? Hmm...I'll have to tell him. If I remember to when he gets home from school. :D Well, I'm off to read some more of that stupid book, 'Morality Tale'. Have a wonderful morning everyone. :D
1-my left year lobe is infected so i can't sleep on it. So Scott and I tried sleeping on opposite sides of the bed than we normally do so I could still look at him. Yeah, that didn't last long at all. So we switched back to normal. So sweet of him. :D LOL
2-I was having nightmares all night. About weird stuff too. Normally I have nightmares about things that have happened to me in the past but last night I was having nightmares about losing the ones I loved. Except, they weren't people I am very close with anymore. I had nightmares that Jayson, aka JP, died in my arms. What the hell was that all about? Yeah, I care about him, but not that much. At least not anymore. But the weirdest thing about that dream was that no one was around. Not the parents, not his brothers, none of our friends, it was just the two of us. Which, if anyone knows Jayson and I, was never a good idea. We usually ended up fighting, which is what we did while he was dying. When Scott woke me up I was so sad, I felt like I needed to call him right then and apologize for something. I wasn't, and still aren't, quite sure for what though. The other dream I had was me dying and the only person that was there with me was Tito, and god was I upset that it was him. For some reason I didn't want anything to do with him. I spent my last minutes arguing with him and trying to get him to leave me alone to die in peace. i never would have imagined me saying anything of the sort to T. Sure we've had our times, but I don't hate him. I don't remember a whole lot from that dream but I do remember waking up being so thankful that Scott was the one I was waking up next to. It was such a relieve. I wonder if he knows that? Hmm...I'll have to tell him. If I remember to when he gets home from school. :D Well, I'm off to read some more of that stupid book, 'Morality Tale'. Have a wonderful morning everyone. :D
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