defeated

i just feel defeated. I'm about ready to turn my phone off and get into bed and not come out until Christmas time. LOL

i will fill everyone in on what's been going on...

1-my phone decided to take a sh*t. and its not under warranty because Tito, who bought me the phone, did not buy it at a t-mobile store. so i am S.O.L. but there were some good things that came out of the whole situation. A-my phone isn't entirely broken, just the back light. so i can't really see the screen unless its in direct light at the right angle. LOL but can still get phone calls and blah blah blah. B-the guy at the t-mobile store thought i was cute so he is giving me 15% my bill every month. FYI if you know someone who works at t-mobile through October 4 they are doing this deal where you get 15% off your bill. C-they said i could 'upgrade' to a new phone for $99 but would have to sign a 2-yr contract. and there is a problem with that because Scott and i are planning on getting new phones if Feb. when both of our contracts are up. D-i did go into t-mobile all by myself. I'm pretty proud of myself for doing that to be honest with you. sh*t like that doesn't happen very often. i normally have a panic attack and need someone to either come with me or just take care of it. bleh. i have no idea what to do.

2-Tito lost his job. so that gives me something else to worry about, even though i know i shouldn't worry about it. we still have bills together. and that's what stresses me out. i hope that everything works out for him. but i do have some good news concerning T, his clothing business is finally up and running. its actually running well enough that there is a guy who works at teasers who is going to invest in Tito's clothing line and then sell the shirts at teasers until December. and all the profits go to charity. which is way cool. :D and Tito is thinking about going back to school. i didn't ask if he meant he was going to finish hair school, which would be cool, or go to college, which would also be cool.

3-i have been having dreams about an ex of mine a lot lately. and normally they are bad dreams, but not all of these are bad. some of them are just weird. like the one i had last night went something like this......i was driving my cute little Saturn and he was driving his acura, even though he's has at least 2 cars since that one, and we just drove along side each other. he waved, i was shocked, then waved back because he just kept waving at me, and then we just drove. it was very odd. i don't know why I'm having these dreams but i don't like them. i don't like waking up thinking about him. whether it be good, bad, or just neutral. it makes me very uncomfortable and i wish they would stop. hmm, i wonder how to get dreams to stop. I'll have to look that up.

4-I'm bummed out because i was so excited for Halloween and now i could honestly care less. there isn't anyone really that i want to hang out with, I'd be fine just sitting at home or going to work. which is crazy for me because it's my favorite holiday. :(

5-oh and 1 last thing, i haven't seen Jen very much, which always puts me in a blah mood. but thankfully she's coming over tonight. i can't wait. i have no idea what we are going to do, but i honestly doesn't matter. we can just sit and home, just the 2 of us an it can be fun. LOL :D

well, that's all for now. I'll fill you in some more later, I'm tired of staring at this computer screen. I'm going to fix myself a rum and coke and go lay in bed until Jen calls.